depression

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Re: depression

Post by cdash on Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:17 pm

I have been depressed before, and I was on a slew of meds that all had different, awful side effects. Wellbutrin was an especially awful experience. It made me physically ill (I was 21...5'10 118 pounds) to the point where I couldn't hold down food, and it made me completely incapable of sleeping. I spent four days trying to sleep and nearly lost all grasp on reality. My two+ years of being (morbidly) depressed completely reshaped how I think and live my life. I refuse to ever let it happen again, although deep down I know I don't really have that much control over it.

I actually starting posting on message boards because I was depressed. It was a good outlet. I didn't want to talk about it with my friends or family (I was masterful at putting up a front and shutting people out, which in hindsight was dumb. Friends and family are there for exactly these reasons, yet I digress.) and the people on Pacers forums (I was at RealGM then) and random other forums I would join were helpful. Talking about things that had nothing to do with me personally or my life were very therapeutic to me.

I don't really have anything constructive to say to you, or any good advice, but I promise you life does get better. It may take some time, but things turn around.
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Re: depression

Post by Doddage on Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:00 am

For those of you that have been depressed, was it the result of life circumstances? Or a change in thought patterns? Something else?

I'm not asking for specifics, I just want to know more about what causes the condition from people who have experienced it.

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Re: depression

Post by cdash on Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:06 am

Doddage wrote:For those of you that have been depressed, was it the result of life circumstances? Or a change in thought patterns? Something else?

I'm not asking for specifics, I just want to know more about the nature of the condition.

It runs in my family, so I guess I was always going to be more prone to it. What triggered it originally for me was life circumstances. I guess I was never really faced with any sort of real adversity until I was 20 or 21, and I didn't really know how to handle everything changing. When they didn't go my way, I got down on myself and it snowballed from there.
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Re: depression

Post by Ms. Piggy on Tue Aug 17, 2010 1:41 am

My mom has been diagnosed with it, but mine really showed up when I was incredibly stressed. Hard classes, graduating, moving away from friends and family, starting a new job, being away from family and friends and not knowing anyone where I moved to, moving in with Nash, wedding planning. It was a lot to happen in one year and I think that's what triggered it. Then Nash got busy at work and I didn't have many friends in Ft. Wayne, so I spent a lot of time alone at home...that didn't help things at all.
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Re: depression

Post by The Toxic Avenger on Tue Aug 17, 2010 2:54 am

I can only guess at mine... rough stressful time in my family + Puberty + lost faith in God = depression. But I don't know what brought me out of it or what really got me so down to begin with. Like, what was the straw that broke the camel's back?
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Re: depression

Post by N8R on Tue Aug 17, 2010 8:03 pm

It is always good to know you are not alone with thoughts like what I have experienced. First off my mom has been diagnosed with Clinical Depression and she hasn't been able to really work for I would say 12 years or more because of it. I live with my dad (have been since I was 4 or 5 whenever they split) but when I would go to my moms at times, she was just not the same person, I always felt like a parent taking care of her or having to just be a different person and she has tried every drug out there for depression and she has managed to find a combo that works but she always does and then a year or two goes by and they stop working so she has to go cold turkey, and then into the hospital and then try a new combo.

It was hard seeing her like that as a kid, you see your parents as the strongest people ever and when they appear to be so weak things sort of flip on their heads.

I have had thoughts and times of depression since I don't even know when. Every once in a while I just get in a funk where I hate everything and just want everything to change, which happens more often than not. I think that is partially what makes me so impulsive (moving to Alberta, moving back to Ontario, going to New Zealand and Australia). I know when things are getting bad and I know that I just need to change something right away or it could get bad.

I have had thoughts of suicide before but never really came close to attempting anything, but I have felt the thoughts of if I die than oh well. I have that feeling all the time basically. That is partially what makes me not afraid to skydive, bungy Jump or any of the other activities I have tried.

For me most spells of depression start when I haven't seen any of my friends for a long time. During the week I work all but 3 hours of the day (the other 21 is sleep/commute/work) so right now I have no time to just relax and be me or see anyone and that starts to get to me. But last weekend I saw people, this weekend me and Sweabs are hanging so that will kick some serious ass.

I guess my best advice is always try to change, better yourself and just force yourself out of your comfort zone. Making new friends for me is really hard to and I only really met friends through traveling and school. I can't be friends with co-workers because they remind me of work and I hate work. But once I get my finances under control I will start taking some classes at the local college to better myself, start doing sports activities to meet others and just get out of my stupid house.

And as I have said before too, if any of the Madison Square (soon to be IFP) peoples are in the Great White North I am down for some massive hang out sessions. I have told my friends here that I do truly wish that this community we have online was in person than I would be all good for seeing people, meeting people and having fun. You guys are all awesome!!!
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Re: depression

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